HOW TO USE A SPECULUM WITHOUT MAIMING YOUR UTERUS

So

I saw this blog posted in a group I'm a part of on Facebook.

*hyperventilate*

Reasonable comment made about my poor cervix and how unhappy it must be with my daily speculation.

VALID POINT. Let me describe in badly done pictures how I do that.

This is my atrocious rendering of the parts of the female reproductive system that are important to this explanation. I have labeled various parts because I'm pretty sure you can't tell. 

(Just a side note: the outer female reproductive organs and openings and such are collectively known as the VULVA. Not the vagina. The vagina is the inside tube-y thing. PLEASE STOP CALLING VULVAS VAGINAS BECAUSE IT DRIVES ME CRAZY PLEASE.)

The problem with speculum use repeatedly is that lots of times when one is inserted it is pushed all the way in like this. Usually it settles in the space under the cervix and lots of times it gets jammed into the cervix.

Then, as you can see, when it's opened it scrapes the cervix and can be painful and annoying. Doing that every day would be super hard on your cervix.

SO THIS IS HOW TO BE NICE TO YOUR UTERUS.

 First, generally you will find the cervix about 2-4 inches back. ALWAYS. CHECK LOCATION FIRST. 

Position the speculum with the bills closed.

Insert speculum in about 1/2 way to the cervix. You need to get past the pubic bone or this ordeal is painful.

Open the bills like an inch. Maybe an inch and a half depending on how fat your cervix is.

 Push the speculum back toward the cervix so the bills are above and below the cervix. I usually stick my finger in there and guide at this point but that was hard to show in pictures.

 

Open to desired... Uh... Open ness and lock the mechanism into place.

It is often better to see and you get a clearer view if you don't place the speculum into the vagina fully and only open it to the first lock. Some people need a wider opening and that's cool but more open isn't necessarily better.

And that's really all. I PROMISE MY CERVIX STILL LIKES ME.