Temperature: 97.7 (happy day; temps are normalizing!)
Taking: Aspirin
Multivitamin
Folic Acid
Cervix is high, medium and closed. Cervical fluid is egg white/creamyish.
Important things to note for the day:
TEMP DROPPED.
1. Relieved because
A) something is happening
B) I didn’t take Clomid while pregnant
C) hcg is going, not coming or remaining stagnant; no retained matter
2. I don’t give a shit about ttc anymore. I have resigned myself to “it’s never going to happen for me again” so I go through the motions just in case but I’ve accepted that I’m probably not going to have another baby biologically. I’m not even sad. I just don’t care. Is this depression? I don’t know. I don’t care.
This is the difference, I guess, between believing that you have a good chance each month and hoping its your month to knowing that it just won’t be again. A positive test means practically nothing to me. I don’t care anymore. It’s like I had tokens and I used all my giveashit ones up. TTC burnout?
3. I saw a girl who posted a 12 wk belly picture, and I can’t believe how much time goes by when you are living your life in two week increments. She’s on her third. She looks so cute.
4. Still using SMEP. It is, at least, an easy and logical plan to follow.
Eh, maybe I do care. Maybe.
.
.
.
Nope. No I do not. Don’t give a shit anymore.
I expect because I took Clomid CD 2-6 and not 1-5 that I will ovulate cd 16 or 17. I much prefer ovulating CD 16 but again... Eh.
OPK testing begins CD 10. SMEP begins CD 8 (today). HPT testing once at 6 DPO for a negative that I can compare to any later tests. Once again at 9 DPO, if - then again at 12 DPO (provided temps are still high). I'm making this schedule not to control myself but to force myself to test and stick with current plan of active TTC. Sigh.
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